For Jennifer

There was pain
And bright lights.
Voices commanding "push"
Busy hands, smoothing and soothing,
And then a cry

I held you.
So soft warm and pink.
With downy head
And bright eyes trying to focus
Tiny fingers wrapped around mine.

There was pain
As you nestled
And my heart cried
For all that I could not give you
Love was not enough

I left you
And walked Away
Trying not to look back
The emptiness was more than I could bear
And I cried

There was pain
For years and years
As life went on
I thought of you and prayed for your happiness
And for your health

But I needed to know
Were you alright?
Did you forgive me?
Was your life all that I hoped for
But could not give.

And now there is pain
So joyous and sweet
That we have found each other
And hearing your sweet voice full of forgiveness
My heart whispers, everything will be alright.

November 1995
Dedicated to my friend Cathy
at the time of her reunion with the child to which she had given birth
18 years previously
A daughter called Jennifer

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